Dodge Ball Weekly - 6/16/09

By Adam Dodge - Angelswin.com Senior Writer

The Top 10 Things Scioscia may have said to his players in Tampa

In honor of David Letterman, I present the top 10 things Mike Scioscia may have said to his players in Tampa.

10. “I’m getting so sick of watching you guys play I *almost* can’t eat my post game cannolis.”

9. “Keep this up and I’m going to let Mickey shower with you guys.”

8. “Who the *%#@ ate the last piece of lasagna?”

7. “You guys are less entertaining than a Howard’s commercial.”

6. "Losing is like a disease ... and the only prescription is more Quinlan."

5. “There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.“

4. “One word: Periwinkle. I can make it happen.”

3. “I’m a celebrity. Get me out of here!”

2. “BABIP practice first thing tomorrow morning!”

1. “Seriously, I’m not playing. Who the *%#@ ate the last piece of lasagna?”