Friday, August 26, 2011

By Steve Haston - Feature Satirist

As all Angel fans are aware, earlier this week Jered Weaver signed a team friendly extension for the next five years.

Choked up as he thanked his parents and the team, his heartfelt press conference endeared in a way that I’m sure was missing when John Lackey had his press conference in Boston. But beneath all of this, the joy, loyalty, money and game, beneath all of this is the reason Jered really signed that contract. He did it for Jeff.

Out of options, staring down the barrel of finding a back up position with a low end national league team befitting his offensive skills, Jeff spent many mornings praying that things would change. Jered answered that prayer, “The contract was for $95 million over five years. I told them to cut out $10 million and make sure Jeff stays.” The team considered all options and agreed. Jeff Mathis, likely to make league minimum or close to it with any team he signs with, would cost the Angels in the neighborhood of $3,000,000 over the next five seasons. The balance, Arte Moreno considered, was a futility tax.

On Monday’s off day before the press conference, Jeff could be found sitting in the Angels locker room. Smiling from ear to ear, he looked up at one reporter and smirked “Squat, Inc is back in business.” Sure, Jered could have signed with the Yankees, Phillies or Red Sox for two years and $60,000,000 more. That would have been the Borisian strategy. But there is something to be said for keeping the man that puts down the fingers defensively, and signals when the other team is about to bat every time he steps to the plate.

Speaking unusually candidly about the situation, Mike Scioscia commented “Jered has a very youthful outlook to both the game and life. With that come some quirks. He needs a security blanket. Jeff Mathis is Jered Weaver’s security blanket. Come to think of it, he’s mine too.” With the loss of Robb Quinlan over this past offseason, Mike has become even more attached to Jeff Mathis. Even going so far as to replay post game interviews while thundering from Thousand Oaks to Anaheim during his daily commute.

So, for now, all is well. Jeff is safe and sound, our staff ace is happy and opponents know they’re only facing 8 major league hitters when Weaver pitches.

The views expressed in this publication are the writer's and do not necessarily reflect the views of
Love to hear what you think!

Listen to "A Fish Like This" Tribute song to Mike Trout's Greatness

AngelsWin Media

We Recommend

 photo 8fbce79f-4964-43ef-a13d-ff1832b5e9a4_zpsd3c2ece7.jpg
Click on the picture above to pick up a copy of Rob Goldman's latest on Angels' great, Nolan Ryan. A Must Read for every fan of the Angels! Website Store

 photo t_zps6af139fc.gif
Copyright © 2013 Los Angeles Angels Blog | is the unofficial website of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Our comments and views do not express the views of the major league club or anyone affiliate with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. blog content, articles and opinions are provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind.  We disclaim warranties, express or implied, including warranties for a particular purpose, accuracy, completeness, availability, security, compatibility and non-infringement.  Blog material, articles and other information furnished or supplied by you to become the ownership of for use at our discretion.  Your use of AngelsWin content is at your own discretion and risk. We do not warrant that any content here be error free that access thereto will be uninterrupted or errors will be corrected. We do not warrant or make any representations regarding  the use of any content made available through  You hereby waive any claim against us with respect thereto. may contain the opinions and views of other members and users. We cannot endorse, guarantee, or be responsible for the accuracy, efficacy or veracity of any content generated by our members and other users. The content of is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. Such content is not intended to, and does not, constitute legal, professional, medical or healthcare advice or diagnosis, and may not be used for such purposes. Reliance on any information appearing on is strictly at your own risk. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. You should not act or refrain from acting on the basis of any content included in, or accessible through, the without seeking the appropriate legal or other professional advice on the particular facts and circumstances at issue from a lawyer or professional licensed in the recipient's state, country or other appropriate licensing jurisdiction.