Saturday, August 10, 2013

By Jessica Melendez, Feature Writer - 

You guys, the Angels suck this year. No two ways about it!  I've been meaning to write this post for the last few months but I have kept putting it off.  Every few days I thought, “this is it, this is where the Angels turn it around and I can just write something super happy and fun instead!”  And then, you know, this season kept happening.

But what’s the real problem?  I’m sure everyone has an opinion.  Pitching. Consistency. Everything. All of these are valid answers.  But in my opinion, the biggest problem is a lack of team building.  There’s no chemistry.  It’s like watching a romantic comedy starring two sticks.  Boooooring. Painful.  Coma inducing.

So let’s talk team building.  I’m pulling out my Human Resources Professional hat to offer these totally legitimate*, legal**, and effective*** ways to encourage camaraderie and togetherness.

1. A brawl. The Dodgers got into TWO brawls earlier this season and look where they are now.  It’s time to start beaning batters and throwing our collarbones into harm’s way.  Nothing says solidarity like that awkward half-sprint-half-jog from the bullpen that happens during brawls.

2. Team field trip to church with Josh Hamilton. Yeah, I know there are federal laws against forcing one’s employees to practice a specific not talk to me of such trivial matters.  Arte needs to lay down the law: head on over to church, boys, and have an honest to goodness “come to Jesus” moment.  Nothing’s more earnest than a new convert.  


3. Voodoo cleansing ceremony at the Big A with mandatory participation by all players.  I’m sure there’s got to be something that can be done involving chicken sacrifice and maybe burning some Rangers jerseys or something...I’ll leave the details up to the professionals.  Arte’s got the money to hire the big guns, but maybe some fans could go in on some cheaper spells in the meantime. offers a “Masculine Power Spell” for $89.95.  You can even add it to an online shopping cart.  Seems totally legit to me and she offers a 30 day money back guarantee so you really can’t go wrong. I say everyone pick a player and send a $89.95 “Masculine Power Spell” their way.  They’ll thank you later.

4. Team Campout.  Campouts are a great way to build camaraderie, confidence, and basic life skills.  This is the concept behind every scouting organization.  In my mind, this Team Campout includes repeated watching of The Sandlot, Major League, and Field of Dreams.  And s’mores. Lots of s’mores. Probably a few rounds of the “trust fall” followed by more s’mores.

5. Matching tattoos à la the Nine from The Lord of the Rings.  Here’s a way to make sure everyone commits to the season and each other—get a permanent reminder on their bodies!  And they can all match and be adorable and what a fabulous story that would make for sports writers everywhere.  You’re welcome, sports writers.

6. Team building through survival!  On the next off day or perhaps even after this dreadful season is over, I vote the entire team get dumped onto a deserted island and forced to scavenge for food and shelter.  As it turns out, fending off danger together is also a great way to form lasting bonds so maybe there could be some dangerous animals and possibly some kind of random setting off of explosions...I’m not saying anyone should actually get killed, I’m kind of asking for The Hunger Games Lite package.  Drama, danger...less actual killing.  This experience should last more than a few days so while they’re off surviving we just bring up a bunch of minor leaguers to play a few games.  Cause it would be fun to watch and we’d probably not lose any more games than we already are, am I right?  

So those are my top suggestions for the all important team building that the Angels seem to be sorely lacking this year.  What are yours?

* doubtful
** not at all
*** extremely doubtful
Love to hear what you think!

Listen to "A Fish Like This" Tribute song to Mike Trout's Greatness

AngelsWin Media

We Recommend

 photo 8fbce79f-4964-43ef-a13d-ff1832b5e9a4_zpsd3c2ece7.jpg
Click on the picture above to pick up a copy of Rob Goldman's latest on Angels' great, Nolan Ryan. A Must Read for every fan of the Angels! Website Store

 photo t_zps6af139fc.gif
Copyright © 2013 Los Angeles Angels Blog | is the unofficial website of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Our comments and views do not express the views of the major league club or anyone affiliate with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. blog content, articles and opinions are provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind.  We disclaim warranties, express or implied, including warranties for a particular purpose, accuracy, completeness, availability, security, compatibility and non-infringement.  Blog material, articles and other information furnished or supplied by you to become the ownership of for use at our discretion.  Your use of AngelsWin content is at your own discretion and risk. We do not warrant that any content here be error free that access thereto will be uninterrupted or errors will be corrected. We do not warrant or make any representations regarding  the use of any content made available through  You hereby waive any claim against us with respect thereto. may contain the opinions and views of other members and users. We cannot endorse, guarantee, or be responsible for the accuracy, efficacy or veracity of any content generated by our members and other users. The content of is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. Such content is not intended to, and does not, constitute legal, professional, medical or healthcare advice or diagnosis, and may not be used for such purposes. Reliance on any information appearing on is strictly at your own risk. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. You should not act or refrain from acting on the basis of any content included in, or accessible through, the without seeking the appropriate legal or other professional advice on the particular facts and circumstances at issue from a lawyer or professional licensed in the recipient's state, country or other appropriate licensing jurisdiction.