Monday, April 25, 2016

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By Glen McKee, Senior April Blues-Singer - 

The Bad. Where do I start? There is so much garbage to choose from.

- Our record for the week: 3-4 (more on that later).  

- Our bullpen: surprisingly not as bad as I thought, with a collective 3.90 ERA, 19th in the league.

- Our hitting: dead last in average (.217), OBP (.287), 29th in slugging (.322), 29th in OPS (.602). 

 Folks, it doesn’t get much worse than that.  Again, my personal thanks to the Atlanta Braves for keeping us from being the worst offense across the board.

- One of our most expensive players: No, not Josh Hamilton, he’s a sunk cost at this point.  I’m talking about Pujols, of course.  .153, .228, .292, .520.  Mang, that’s horrible.  He managed to run into a few HR this week and he admired them like they were newborn children, but other than that it was a miserable week for The Machine.  God forbid Scioscia give him a day off or something.

- Johnny Giavotella:  .136, .156, .136, .292.  The writing has to be on the wall for him.  The Angels as currently constructed have several people who just cannot hit and Johnny G is the worst, so he’s the most logical one to be replaced first.  Abysmal isn’t too strong a word for how he’s looked so far.  He may be out of options, but with these stats he can’t continue to be an option for the Angels.

The Good.  Yes, there is some good.

- A slow AL West: at 8-11 the Angels are only two games back of the first-place Rangers and two games ahead of the last-place Astros.  I know, right?  It’s still early!

- Mike Trout: Dude is waking up.  In the last seven days, he’s hitting .417, .517, .708, 1.226.  It sure sucks that Pujols is behind him, because right after Pujols we have…

- Kole Calhoun: .294, .360, .441, .801.  The logical candidate to bat behind Trout until Pujols runs into his annual hot streak.  

- Geovany Soto: in a handful of games he’s hitting .304, .360, .478, .838.  Probably not sustainable but he has the potential to be the Mike Napoli (minus the lousy work ethic and stewbum facial hair) to Carlos Perez’s Jeff Mathis.  It’s been a while since we’ve had a catcher controversy.  Bring it on.

- The starting pitching.  Outside of Matt Shoemaker it was solid last week.  Inside of Matt Shoemaker it was like you’d just had a Del Taco macho burrito that had been sitting in the sun for a few hours prior to consumption.  As a person I like Shoey, but he’s the Giavotella of the starting pitchers: the first to go and it’s gotta happen soon.

The rest. If you consider a .500 road trip to be successful, then the last road trip was a success.  If you consider losing two of three to the Mariners to start a homestand to be a bad omen, then you shouldn’t watch the next three games, at home versus the Royals.  Play some Jenga.  Reconnect with your wife or husband before he/she leaves you for good.  Exercise a little bit, you fat-ass.  Do something besides watching these next three games.

What’s next.  Three at home versus KC, a day off, and three at Texas.

My predictions versus last week.  I predicted a split with Chicago and losing two against the Mariners.  Actual record: a split with Chicago and lost two against the Mariners.  Please applaud. Totals for my predictions this year versus reality (two weeks):  7-6 versus 6-7.  Feel free to post your predictions for the week below and challenge my soothsaying skills.

My predictions for this week.  

1-2 versus the Royals and 1-2 versus the Rangers, 2-4 total.  More pain.
Love to hear what you think!

Listen to "A Fish Like This" Tribute song to Mike Trout's Greatness

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