Friday, May 20, 2016

 photo BALTIMORE_G_zpsa2ykqcnf.jpg

By Adam Dodge, Senior Writer -

Baltimore is the BEST! I'm serious, the absolute best - in at least two categories: 

1. Fielding Percentage - In 2015, the Baltimore Orioles led the American League with a .987 fielding percentage. Adam Jones is a sick sonofabitch in CF.

2. Murder - In 2015, the city of Baltimore recorded 344 murders! On a per capita basis, this was the highest number ever recorded! Perhaps this was just a form of population control and an attempt to offset the new lives created in 2011, when Vladimir Guerrero completed his illustrious career (on the field, anyway) in an Orioles uniform. Whatever the case, good on you, B-More. 

This statistic, for some reason, reminds me of the single greatest line ever uttered in American Cinema.

In 2016, the Orioles are off to a great start. At 24-14, they lead the American League Eastern Division. I can't do this. Crab cakes are f**king gross. They take something wonderfully delicious - the delicate white meat of a jumbo crab and they violate it with a bunch of disgusting crap. Any recipe that requires a half of a cup of mayonnaise and a box of saltines should be served with a glass of Tang and only to people convicted of violent sexual crimes. Why, Baltimore? I have a theory. Maryland crabs are so contaminated from marinating in an ocean of blood, rape and heroin, the only way they can get FDA approval is if they're transformed into fried balls of the clearance rack at the 99-cent store.   

I'll stop the Baltimore hate. After all, the city is the setting for the greatest television show ever produced - a show that was more successful than any other at providing social commentaries on gang activities, violence and the plight of African-Americans in the United States. Of course, I'm referring to Roc, the Fox sitcom, which gave us a glimpse at the life of Charles "Roc" Emerson, a cheap ass garbage man with a needling wife and fornicating younger brother. I personally revisit the Tone Loc episodes every six months. 

 photo FeelMe_zpsm1iqs0w1.png

Now, let's get back to what's important. This weekend, Baltimore's Pimlico Race Course will host the 141st edition of the Preakness Stakes, much to the chagrin of the lettuce eating Sallies at PETA.  A year after American Pharoah (I know "Pharaoh" is misspelled - the former owners of that horse are legitimate coked-out idiots) won the Triple Crown, Southern California based Nyquist, two weeks off of his brilliant Kentucky Derby win, seeks to win the second jewel of his own Triple Crown try on Saturday.  He'll be the odds on favorite at 1-2 or 3-5 to complete the nine and a half furlongs first. Nine and a half is also the over/under on the number of trips to the mound made by Buck Showalter during the upcoming three-game series. Like Nyquist, Bucky is odds on to eclipse it. 

I've never been to Baltimore but I imagine it smells like week-old anchovy pizza and broccoli farts. 

Go Halos!
Love to hear what you think!

Listen to "A Fish Like This" Tribute song to Mike Trout's Greatness

AngelsWin Media

We Recommend

 photo 8fbce79f-4964-43ef-a13d-ff1832b5e9a4_zpsd3c2ece7.jpg
Click on the picture above to pick up a copy of Rob Goldman's latest on Angels' great, Nolan Ryan. A Must Read for every fan of the Angels! Website Store

 photo t_zps6af139fc.gif
Copyright © 2013 Los Angeles Angels Blog | is the unofficial website of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Our comments and views do not express the views of the major league club or anyone affiliate with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. blog content, articles and opinions are provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind.  We disclaim warranties, express or implied, including warranties for a particular purpose, accuracy, completeness, availability, security, compatibility and non-infringement.  Blog material, articles and other information furnished or supplied by you to become the ownership of for use at our discretion.  Your use of AngelsWin content is at your own discretion and risk. We do not warrant that any content here be error free that access thereto will be uninterrupted or errors will be corrected. We do not warrant or make any representations regarding  the use of any content made available through  You hereby waive any claim against us with respect thereto. may contain the opinions and views of other members and users. We cannot endorse, guarantee, or be responsible for the accuracy, efficacy or veracity of any content generated by our members and other users. The content of is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. Such content is not intended to, and does not, constitute legal, professional, medical or healthcare advice or diagnosis, and may not be used for such purposes. Reliance on any information appearing on is strictly at your own risk. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. You should not act or refrain from acting on the basis of any content included in, or accessible through, the without seeking the appropriate legal or other professional advice on the particular facts and circumstances at issue from a lawyer or professional licensed in the recipient's state, country or other appropriate licensing jurisdiction.