By Glen McKee, Senior Staff Writer -
I had to do some actual research for this edition of Foe Fodder. Did you know that Milwaukee is truly a city in the United States? I didn’t even know that until this morning. I thought it was like Atlantis or something, but apparently it does exist and the Angels are going to play three games there, and my PCP buddy Nate Trop is gonna attend all three. That, coupled with my prediction of 3-0 against the Brewers spells DOOM, but yeah, Milwaukee…
- The only reason people know about Milwaukee is because of seminal sitcom “Happy Days” (more on that in a bit), one of that show’s god-awful spinoff shows “Laverne & Shirley” and because of Alice Cooper in the most excellent “Wayne’s World.”
- Because anything is more interesting than talking about Milwaukee, let’s talk about “Happy Days.” It was an amazing show. It was a spinoff from “Love, American Style” and it beget the aforementioned spinoff “Laverne & Shirley” as well as five other spinoff shows, two animated spinoffs, and a series of books. “Happy Days” convinced us that the Fonz was the height of cool, even though he lived above an old couple’s garage, wore a leather jacket no matter what the weather, kept his office inside a bathroom, and his only goals in life were to fix hotrods and bang underage poon. That was the Fonz. He also gave us “jumping the shark,” so that’s cool, I guess.
- The Brewers have one famous player, Ryan Braun, and he’s famous mostly for getting popped for PEDs and trying to blame it on a courier, thereby causing that courier to get fired for something he didn’t do. Total dick move.
- The Brewers used to have former Angels prospect Jean Segura. Segura did well in Milwaukee in 2013, and then in 2014 and 2015 the team dragged him down. He got traded to the Diamondbacks and suddenly he’s having a career year, batting .333, .362 (take a few more walks, dude), .523, .885, all career highs. That’s how bad and how boring the Brewers are: I have to talk about ex-Angels who did time in Milwaukee and got better as soon as the left.
That’s all I have. The Milwaukee Brewers. Oh yeah, and they used to have a cool and unique logo:
and then, much like the Padres, they went as bland as they could and gave their team this:
It’s an M over a grain of wheat, because wheat and beer and stuff! My god, that’s boring. It had to be designed by a committee whose only goal was to make a logo that nobody could ever possibly get excited about. It’s no wonder they suck.